Friday, November 5, 2010

Elevator of Terror

This is my very first flash fiction story. I entered into a contest for it, but did not place. I am still proud of it though.


Jane’s visit with her grandma was very uneventful. She helped the elderly women clean, cook, and organize her medication. Now that Jane’s boring Saturday afternoon was over, it was time for her to go and be a regular sixteen year old.

Today, the elevator seemed to go especially slow. Finally, the steel doors opened inviting Jane inside. Before she could push the button for the lobby, the doors slammed shut. Jane heard a snap, and the elevator started to fall down the shaft at a distressingly rapid rate. Jane’s heart pounded in her chest as she realized she was rapidly descending to her death. Her thoughts went to her loved ones as the elevator got closer to the bottom floor. Jane cowered as the numbers started to get closer to the bottom floor.

 She opened her eyes to see that the elevator had lowered past the first floor, and was slowly its speed. The doors snapped open to a room Jane had never seen before. It was very dark with only a candle light glow at the end of what seemed like a long hallway. Jane slowly creeped out of the metal box that had contained her for what seemed like forever. She slowly walked through the hallway. Jane tried to use her hands to feel her way through, but she touched nothing but darkness. She tried focus on the hope that the light would lead to safety.

After what seemed like forever, Jane found the light. The source of the light was some candles in an open cave like room. The air felt very damp.  In the middle of the room, there was a metal examining table. It was very clean and empty. Jane had no idea what was going on. She walked slowly into the room.

“Hello? Is anyone down here?” Jane called out. At this point, she was not sure if she wanted an answer. After Jane’s call, a doctor walked into the room. He was fully clad in medical gear and took no notice to Jane. He walked over to the table and snapped his latex gloves onto his hands.

“Give me the patient,” he commanded behind his medical mask. Three nurses wheeled the patient into the room. The patient was an elderly woman that looked familiar to Jane. She moved a bit closer to the see the curly white hair. It was her grandmother.

Jane tried to scream “No”. The medical crew went about their business as if they heard nothing. The nurses lifted her grandmother on the table with a big bang. The sudden noise made Jane jump. At that moment, her grandmother opened her eyes and started to struggle. The nurses held her arms and legs down with great force. She let out a terrified scream as the doctor raised an electric drill above her body.

The sound of the device echoed across the cavern. With no warning, the doctor lowered the drill to cut into Jane‘s grandmother. The doctor cut the chest first. It took only a few moments for fragments of bone to go falling across the room like confetti. When the doctor was sure his patient would no longer be living, he let out a laugh.  It was a playful child laugh. The doctor reached into the chest of his victim and pulled out the life organ, the heart.

The doctor continued his laugh as he used one hand to remove his medical cap and mask. His big red hair flopped and bounced at the now found freedom. The mask had not smeared any of the makeup. The clown laughed as through he had just performed the best crowd pleasing, kid friendly act of his career. Jane screamed in terror. The clown looked at her as if he had heard her scream, but his face and laugh never changed. His make-up smile stayed just the same despite having a dead patient on his table, and a bleeding heart in his hand.

It was then that she noticed there was no sign of blood on the floor. All of the blood drops were turning into little black dots on the floor. The moment that Jane noticed that the spots were moving toward her she started to feel some creepy crawly legs on her. It was spiders. She ran with a scream the only direction she knew, back toward the elevator. She ran into the darkness only to run into a wall. Jane feel to the floor as everything went black.

Jane opened her eyes. Staring at her was a man’s face asking her if she was all right. “What happened?” Jane asked.

“The cable snapped and you fell a couple of floors down. You must have hit your head during the fall, “the man explained. He reached his hand out toward hers. Jane looked around to find herself in the elevator. It had all been a dream.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

One of the creepiest stories i have read in a long time! To be able to shove so many nightmares in such a small story is impressive.