To my mom

My mom left my town, my sister, my kids, and most of my life four years ago. She decided to explore a new life for herself. I have kept many of the emotions about this event in the back of my consciousness, to the point even I was not sure how I felt about it. However, the time has come for me to explore how I feel about this event in my life. I feel much better after writing this.

As a child, you were magical. You could make a scrap feel better with a kiss. You could tell what was going on behind your head. The house was clean in a twitch of a nose, and I never ran out of blankets to keep me warm.

As a teenager, I hated you. I was in love and you did not understand. I needed more independence and privacy. I felt like you were smothering me. My world was different then yours.

As an adult, you left. I don’t understand. You packed up your things and left town. You split from everyone like a rebellious teen. Do you hate me? I don’t understand. I wonder if it were not for HIM would you still be here. I watch my peers mourn the death of their parents, and I feel disconnected. Do you think you can just call every once in awhile and it makes it ok? Promises of visiting have been met with nothing. Would I even recognize you if I saw you? Even as an adult, four years is a long time. Even when I was sick, you did not come. I could not walk. I could not talk. It was not you that took care of me. It was my mother-in-law. She had to bathe me; she had to help me to the bathroom. She held me close, and when I could talk she listened to my struggles. As grateful as I was, I could not stop thinking about you. You should have been there. How dare you choose to be THERE and not here. Wherever there was? Was it Indiana or Kentucky? Do you even remember? I sat in a hospital room looking at the cornfields of Illinois.

What about all the problems with my son? They don’t know what is going on with him. His behavior is unique, hard to control and impossible to predict. I cannot be magical. He does not believe in it. His world is dark, and everything makes him angry. I wish I could help. I don’t know how. Things are hard, and where are you! It is not as you don’t know what is going on. You call. I tell, and still you don’t show.

A phone call is not enough. A phone call does not make you a mom, a grandmother or a better person.

I was raised not to hate. I was raised to say please, thank you, and excuse me. A parent’s job is never done.

Excuse me, will you please come home? I promise to thank you.

Have a heart for Kloey

Have a heart for Kloey

If you are near or far
The message is the same
Wishing on every star
We have the same aim

Have a heart for Kloey

Away from home
She has to be
Although never alone
And often very smiley

Have a heart for Kloey

Here miles apart
Friends and family wait
To here about the heart
That will be given by fate

Have a heart for Kloey

Together with the same desire
We live our lives each day
For this girl we admire
Knowing someday she will be okay

Have a heart for Kloey

My Family

My Family

Our families may not look the same
But a family is a family by the name
Whether your family is made of one or two
Three, four, five, six…a family is always true

My family is one dad
He is always glad
I am by his side
to give me a piggyback ride

My family may not look like you
But my family is true
Love
Is what a family is made of

My mom and I
Are always nearby
She makes me grin
When she calls me her little pumpkin

My family may not look like you
But my family is true
Love
Is what a family is made of

Two moms love me
There care runs deeply
We always have a lot of fun
When we play in the sun

My family may not look like you
But my family is true
Love
Is what a family is made of

Two dads live in my home
I never feel alone
They always find a way
To spend time with me everyday

My family may not look like you
But my family is true
Love
Is what a family is made of

I have two places I call homestead
Now that they have unwed
It is ok though
Their love for me will always grow

My family may not look like you
But my family is true
Love
Is what a family is made of

I was born in my parent’s heart
Even if someone else gave me my start
With every date
I know my family is great

My family may not look like you
But my family is true
Love
Is what a family is made of

Families come in all shapes and scope
We all hold on to the hope
When families will be recognized for love
Because that is what families are made of

An unconventional mother's day

An Unconventional Mother's Day

A few years ago you left us alone
Even though we are grown
Having no mother here
Often brings a tear

It was not death that took you away
But yet you choose not to stay
It was not something you had to do
But for some reason you flew

You left your life,
Your children had to take it in strife
This mother’s day, we look for an explanation
Why you are not here for a celebration

For years you took care of me
For years your love is what I could see
For years my sister and I
Found that you were the one we could rely

Now has mother’s day comes near
I found another faithful tear
As I sit in the corner wondering why
You choose to say good-bye

Mama Bird

                                                              Mama Bird



Anyone else would have thought
You had not the time
For anything more, you were too distraught
Repairing your home would seem to take another lifetime

You started to mend your broken heart
With each twig and stick
You promised your young a new start
They started to believe you were capable of magic

As your nest was still being rebuilt
A new family came along
Their mama had split
And their daddy was trying to be strong

Even with all the work left to do
You felt a love inside for this family
You knew what was true
Like any loving mama bird, you took them firmly

You rebuilt your home, just bigger
Opened your heart a little more
Just as anyone could figure
Love began to soar

Faster then anyone knew
One home was built from two

Along came a baby that made it complete
The joining of mama and daddy in one little heartbeat

Mama bird, Mama bird your busy days are through
Look around at all you have done and all who love you

Mom

Mom

Though all of the years
And the many tears

You have been there for me
In ways that only time as let me see

When your body is gone
Your words will be what I lean on

You will come to see me more in my dreams
Your love will comfort me in streams

I know that the time will come
I am now longer under your thumb

For now you are the one that shows me the way
When my values are a bit gray

You are my mother
I will have no other

I love you each and every day
More and more

sitting alone

Sitting alone

The time came so fast
When your breath became your last

Without you by my side
Sitting In this empty chair
Listening  to the still air

I think about the last time we were together
I thought it would be like that forever

I sit in a pool of sorrow
Holding on until tomorrow

On my check a salty trail lingers
That I wipe away with my fingers

My thoughts go back to you
As they often do

I think about your smile
As the memories start to compile

I miss you everyday
In each and every way

Grandpa Brock

Grandpa Brock

You were always our strong, opinionated, stubborn rock
that taught us what it meant to be a Brock

Through the teasing of many dogs
And listening to us all sing many country songs

Though we shed many tears
Our stories will keep you alive for many more years

Everyone will miss your kind soul
That tried to keep the family whole

The lessons, smiles, and love will remain
Although your body and soul is now aboard the heavenly train

Mom and Dad

Dear Mom and Dad
I hear you fight
everynight
I know you live every night sad

Most of my friends have parents that leave apart
you choose to stay together in our home
although in your heart
you both feel alone

You think this is what is best for me
you both don't see
what happens at night
what happens during every fight

You don't see me pray for you to be happy
this may seem a bit sappy
dear mom and dad
I know you are sad

I will be fine
please mom and dad
if you are happier apart

it will not break my heart